Monday, March 21, 2011


To guard your heart, and to avoid being anybody's fool, it is actually quite important to accept in your mind that some people are write-offs.Transsexuals can be put into positions of extreme anxiety when faced with the prospect of what some people will think or say. Much of this anxiety can be alleviated by simply telling yourself the worst is going to happen, and you don't care. While they may never accept you, and they may never be okay, you will.

I have a great deal of experience with this. One example would be that all of my female friends at school know about me, but I haven't told a single straight male. I have two male best friends, Jamie and Cory, and I've already cut myself off from them emotionally and am in the process of coming up with a decent cover story to ensure that I never see them again. Will I miss them? Yes. Do I think I could keep them around if I tried? No. Although I do believe in most cases it is better to actually give people a chance, I also feel that sometimes, it just isn't worth it. A few unexpected allies can crop up, but if the warning signs and ominous clouds are looming over a relationship, it may be best to cut and run.


  1. Wow, your strength of will and your level of self-awarness is humbling, Lauren - I wish I'd had half your courage at that age.

    You are a beautiful young woman, and you seem to know exactly what you want out of life. More than that, you seem to have very realistic expectations, and an pretty good feel for how others will react.

    I am very excited to follow your journey. I wish you all the best, hon!

  2. Lauren, I am not sure if you follow T-Central, but knowing what a great blog you have here I couldn't resist telling everyone about it.


  3. Lauren,

    Hopefully they will start you on estrogen early Lauren. The blocker is good but the estrogen is better for your psyche and appearance.

    There are some nice people on T-Central but very few that started hormones in their teens. Listen to your doctors but push hard for estrogen sweetie.

    Just be your beautiful self and understand people will accept a child a lot easier than an adult. You are already a beautiful young girl.


  4. Lauren,
    I read all of your blog tonight and I must say that you have a sense of maturity and wisdom far beyond your years. And I completely agree with Sally about being impressed with your inner strength. I wish I was as strong as you are! You are most definitely a beautiful young woman in every sense of the word and I look forward to following your journey.


  5. Don't worry about the boys sweetie. Being trans has nothing at all to do with boys, or any sexual attractions either way, it's all about being one of the girls, and by the sounds of it, you already have the girls on your side. At least the ones who count!

    Melissa XX

  6. Hi Lauren, just wanted to tell you that, like Rebecca, I have just read all of your posts.

    I thought long and hard before doing this.

    Even though I am part of the T-Central team and applaud Halle for featuring your blog, I am very capable of going into depression when I read blogs such as yours, written by teens.

    You see, I become more and more bitter, as every day goes by, that the Internet and books such as True Selves were not available when I was your age. When I was 15, I knew what I was but there was nothing out there to prove to me and others that I was really a female inside a male shell. By the time I was in my 20's, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt because books were becoming available on the subject, but help groups, therapy, etc., were not available and by then it was too late for me.

    Anyway, you are doing the right thing, girl. I envy you and I greatly respect your strength and courage. I hope that surgery will only be a few years away for you now that you have halted the horrible effects that the poison, Testosterone, can have on you.

    Calie xxx

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