Down to Business

I am in a no-nonsense mood and I feel that now is the time to get things done. I am so sick and tired of teetering on the edge of self-destruction, so I have contacted my therapist and I plan to get back into my routine of attending my sessions regularly. I have attempted to undertake this entire transitional process on my own, and I've had to learn the hard way that no one can do that. I plan to have my therapist work through my emotional issues and I know that she can give me a reference to a speech therapist. My voice is usually the trigger for my emotional break-downs and I know that if I can just get that under my belt, then the rest of my transition will be fairly smooth.

I've also gotten back into one of my better habits and I am now keeping up with my diary every day. My "Little Green Book," has already become one of my most valuable resources. I use it for everything from creative writing, to emotional ravings, to book-keeping. I highly recommend keeping a diary to anyone in transition or any other major issues in their lives. There is something in the act of changing all those pent up emotions into something tangible that you can hold in your hands that is just beyond fulfilling. Even if you are the only person who sees it, a piece of paper is more patient, understanding, and excellent at listening than any friend you could have.

My Voice

Hey everybody! While I was doing my voice practice today I thought maybe I should let you hear what I sound like! I don't consider myself to be done working in any way, shape, or form, but it always helps me to see and hear other people's progress so maybe some of you feel that way too! Maybe I'll do a video blog one of these days... Maybe. ;)


My Voice
 (Mp4 format)

Voice Phobia

What makes a voice beautiful? Is it the way it flows with a melody, or its velvety softness as it follows a sweet tune? Well, it's certainly not the high-pitched squeak that mine so often breaks of into. You'd think I would have gotten off easy by only progressing a very short way into the wrong puberty, but nothing's ever that easy for a transgirl. Of everything I missed out on, mother nature made sure to strangle the heck out of my voice. Compared to where I started, I'm in a wonderful place and when I practice alone, marvelous, but god(Jesus, Buddah, Allah, Spongebob) forbid there's someone else around, I can barely make a sound or I might even let out that dreadful squeak. My voice phobia is my last hurdle in passing but it is certainly the greatest. I've considered a voice coach but seeing as I can do it when I'm on my own, should I? Does anybody else have a case of voice phobia?