Friday, August 26, 2011

Dependency vs. Friendship

I think that when the majority of your friends don't truly understand who you are, it is much easier to become attached to the friends that do. As a transperson, it can sometimes be unwise to disclose everything to everyone, so the select few that know the truth about you can suddenly become incredibly important, but where do you draw the line between dependency and friendship.

I have my own personal example about this with a close friend of mine. I have been more open with her than anyone and she accepts me completely. She, however, is going through a lot of issues in her own life as well and I feel that going through these things together has brought us much closer, perhaps too close?

I began to question my attachment to her, because although she is my best friend, she certainly does wield a certain amount of power over me. I noticed this specifically when I asked if maybe she could come to visit me on my sixteenth birthday so that it would be extra-special, but she refused for personal reasons. Although I really did try to sympathize with her, I couldn't help but feel hurt and upset. It was my first instinct to sulk and decide against doing anything for my birthday, but then it occurred to me how positively ridiculous that would be.

I am going to make a conscious effort to be more independent and try to feel closer to more people instead of just a select group. I think in a time as hectic as transition, that can be good advice for anyone.

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